Zzzz

I am so tired. I spent a good chunk of this weekend sleeping. 10 hours Saturday night and at least 9 last night. Heavy sleep too, I normally wake up a few times each night, just from the cat or Dylan kicking me or a noise or whatever. Not these last nights, though, I’ve been out cold. And still, I feel like I could use my keyboard for a pillow and sleep for a month.

caught in a dream

We found the remote. It was stuck in between couch cushions. So now life is back to normal.

Homework and work from home, that’s pretty much what today is all about. Slow Sunday. It’s been wonderful to once again have a three day weekend though, it’s so much better that way. Two days is not really enough for me to catch up on sleep and unwind.

I had a dream the other night that I got an e-mail from the police saying I had been charged with cointerference and right after I read the e-mail they knocked on my door and cuffed me and took me away and then there were trials and hearings and I was locked up and the whole time nobody would tell me what the hell cointerference meant or was or what I had done. It was really frustrating and really weird and kind of scary.

Then I read an article today that informed me that in Arizona I could be charged with a misdemeanour for not carrying my alien paper work on me at all times. I’m not planning a trip to Arizona anytime soon though. I’m planning a trip home where I’m as native as the snow and the pine trees.

while on Nyquil

Spending Friday night with Nyquil and homework. My voice decided not to join me in the 29th year of my life so it’s been a pretty quiet day. Last night, well all day yesterday actually, was really good though. Good times, good b-day.

You know how they say you should hide the remote and walk up to the TV to change channel if you want to get in some exercise into your daily life? Well, I call that bs. We lost our remote and now I’m watching “What would you do?” even though I absolutely hate that show.

Last year I got coupon for a cat for my birthday. Although home made obviously, more like an “I owe U” for a cat. Three years ago, when we were in Thailand, I got a pineapple. When I turned 12 my guinea pig died on my birthday. I have no idea where I’m going with this. Maybe the Nyquil is kicking in. I have more homework to do.

food for thought

To continue on the food blogging, tonight I’m having some facon for dinner. That’s fake bacon and it’s pretty good. I like tofurky better, but facon is pretty darn good too. Unfortunately all fake meet come with a side dish of Dylan’s need to taste it and point out that it taste nooooothing like the real thing. Which in the case of facon is great cause I never did like bacon and I have never actually tasted real turkey so that’s not something I can say I miss either.

Today I paid a visit to the police station here in Pocatello. They looked at me kind of funny when I walked in and at first I couldn’t figure out why. I was there to get a parade permit for one of our events at work and not to charge my imaginary friend with identity theft or accuse my neighbour of stealing my rifles.
I also had on jeans that were neither too big nor too small (AND reached the floor), a clean jacket and all my teeth where they should be. They don’t seem to see a lot of people like that in there, I was there for a while and I didn’t see anyone that I’d be surprised if they'd just locked up on the spot.

stick that donation on my chop stick

It’s interesting asking for donations.
One manager will be like “I’m so sorry but this is all we can spare, is a gift certificate worth a 100 dollars ok?”

Which, duh…it’s a donation, of course it’s ok. Anything that’s more than nothing is ok.

But then you have places that have you come back three times because first they want a recite and then the recite isn’t good enough and they want a letter (on letterhead, has to be on letterhead) from the manager confirming the request for a donation and when they finally see that…. They give you 10 bucks.
I spent more money in gas driving back and forth getting that damn donation.

Today I picked up my first pay check and we celebrated with Chinese take out. Dylan was real pleased with his pork noodles but my heavenly vegetables were not that spectacular. I mean, they were fine, just bland. Some tofu would have been nice, but they didn't have that.
Why is it that when you say “no meat” most people give you no flavour?

Love Icy Hot today

Gah, my neck is stiffer than ice sickle. I totally ate it at Pebble’s yesterday, crashed and landed on my face with the left pole stuck under my arm so my shoulder got pushed back somehow. It was painful then but is just ridiculous now, I drove to Wal Mart and felt like everything but a safe driver not being able to turn my head to the left at all. I got ‘icy hot’ though, and getting seriously hooked on that stuff.

I want to mooooove. The more I think about it and the more we talk about it, the more I can’t see us staying in this duplex in the fall. It’s not terrible, but it’s just not good either. I think I want to cross the railroad tracks and try life on the other side of the tunnel.

Man, I wish tomorrow wasn’t Monday; I don’t feel ready for a whole other week to begin yet.

thursday night

Had sushi for dinner. Yum. Fred Meyers, still haven’t managed to get my butt to the new sushi restaurant. Tomorrow is Friday already, this week just flew by.

Today I was thinking that I actually like my job. It has been a while since last time I felt that, so it was a nice feeling. It’s not like so-amazing-I-can’t-wait-to-go-there-on-Monday-awesome. But it’s pretty good. I like it. Lucky me.

Last night was a lot of things. For one, it was a reminder of how great it would be to find someplace new to live in the fall. It was a also a reminder that reason is not always applicable. And that going out in the middle of the week is not always a smart decision.

This Monday is a Tuesday

I am a fan of three day weekends (who isn’t?) and especially the ones that give you Monday off. A Friday off is nice too, but I mean, it’s Friday....they tend to be ok anyway. Head starting your week with a Tuesday is not bad. Not bad at all. I actually did have to work yesterday though... but just helping out at the campus MLK event for 4 hours, so that wasn’t bad.

Tomorrow I’m handing in my first assignment for my crazy complicated and overly intellectual linguistics class. I’m afraid my teacher is going to throw one quick glance at it and be like “aha, just like I suspected. She has no clue whatsoever!” But what can I say, she’d be right.

Another thing I am totally clueless over is the new ‘where are you at?’ application on facebook. I just don’t see the point. If you’re somewhere actually cool, you’d think you tell your friends in your status (or in real life). But if they’d happened to be in same (not as cool) coffee house or library or whatever as you, they’d probably see you... And either way, I don’t give a shit. Now every time I log on it’s like “Chris is at Mocha Madness” “Evelina is at the gym” “Magnus is at school”

Big f-ing deal.
Let me know if you’re nowhere, that would actually be impressive.

it only matters till it doesn't matter anymore

My sister woke me up this morning with a phone call from the other side. Of the Atlantic, that is, although my morning voice probably sounded like it was coming from the other side of the grave. It’s always fun to hear what her kiddos her up to, now that they’re actually little people and say and do stuff that makes for interesting stories. As supposed to eat, poop and sleep which makes for really lame stories I used to space out big time while listening to.

Pontus is the funniest. When told the other day that he really shouldn’t have gotten any presents for Christmas since he is really bad at picking up his toys, he told his dad “Well dad, that’s all up to Santa anyways so it doesn’t matter what you think. Too bad for you!”

And a different day he came into the kitchen crying his heart out because Jennie, his older sister, had declared that she was going to marry Dennis and Pontus was not allowed to marry into their twosome. Not bothering to point out the fact that you’re not allowed to marry your sister to being with, my sister had to comfort him with the fact that Jennie and Dennis still would have to wait a long time before they got married and if Pontus still felt like he wanted to joint their marriage at that point, they would deal with it then.

It’s weird to think of the things you do and don’t question as a child. It never occurred to me that maybe I wouldn’t get married or have children or that I could be homeless or have a job I didn’t like as an adult. But I was real worried about my parents dying before I did and absolutely positive I would have a dog and wear expensive skin crèmes that were pink and smelled good.
I also assumed the friends I had would be my friends forever and when I heard my parents talk about good friends of theirs they hadn’t seen for 10 years I thought that was absolute madness and swore I would never ever go 10 years without seeing my friends.

But then you grow up and life slaps you in the face like the bitch that it is. Sometimes.

no I didn't smoke crack, I cried. alright?

Had a break down today. Sometimes you have to break. Had to cancel the lunch I was really looking forward to because I couldn’t keep it together. Had to go home instead and put my face back on. One of those times. You look back at it and wonder what it was, the drop, that broke it. I don’t know.
But I know I have to pick me up. Nobody else is going to. That’s my deal.

A day without a number

I have to say I feel better about my schooling today than I did Monday and yesterday. My seminar class is going to be tough, no doubt about it. But today I didn’t feel like they were talking a million miles over my head, more just like a mile or two. So I guess I won’t drop it.

Tonight is the memorial and I am going to go to that. It’s at a bowling alley, which I thought was kind of weird at first, but then I guess that’s where they were at last week so…that’s why. I know I didn’t exactly know her, but I still want to show my respect and also see and hug the people who did know her better. It’s all so sad still.

So yeah. Right now I’m just sitting in my office inhaling the toxic smell from whatever they use to clean these halls. It smells like Chernobyl and was probably what inspired Silent Spring. Can’t possibly be good for you. Or the building for that matter.

Day 30- Who are you?

Last day of the challenge. Who am I? Oh, how I love these deep questions. Not. I am a pretty normal person, no more no less. As of today, I’m a student again which is scary and exciting at the same time.

I am the person who will run after you with your wallet or cell phone that you dropped. But I am also the person who will hide in the cereal isle at the grocery store because I don’t feel like talking to you right now.
I will let you go ahead of me in line since you’re only getting a thing of butter and a juice carton. But I will not try to explain the concept of email to another senior citizen at the public library while my own computer time is running out.
I will (to the best of my abilities) give you directions and help you find your way to where you need to go. I will not drive you there, unless I know you.

I hate small talk, especially on the phone. Complements tend to make me uneasy, although living in the US I’ve gotten better at jus saying Thank you and get on with it. I am oddly amazing at remembering peoples’ birthdays.

I consider Monopoly and Yatzi punishments rather than games. I love movie nights with red wine and good friends.

I am a pretty normal person.

Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned?

Ehrm... wow, that's harder than I thought it'd be to answer. What have I learned in this last month that I didn't know before? Some stuff through work, I guess, about American health care and the way the AmeriCorps work.

And that cops sometimes tend to be dicks to people just cause they can.

And that a lot of people actually believe that guns protect them.

And that I have a hard time falling asleep when sleeping alone.

Just today I learned that 32% of young Americans claim they have little or no knowledge about condoms and how they work.

And I was reminded how terribly our dryer sucks. Laundry is a full day project.

Day 28 - a pic from last year and how I've changed

This is actually from 2009, but pretty much a year ago. How have I changed? Well, physically my hair is longer and less dark. Other than that I don’t think my appearance has changed that much. A few more wrinkles probably. Or fine lines or whatever you want to call it.

My life has changed quite a bit. A cat instead of a foster pup. A house of our own instead of crashing with roommates. A job instead of volunteering. Speaking English everyday instead of trying to master Spanish.

Some days I miss travelling a lot. Other days I look back at it with gratefulness but feel content with being where we’re at right now. I was just thinking last night how thankful I am for the small but great group of friends we have already found here in Pokey. That’s the hardest part about travelling and constantly being on the go, all the people you have to leave behind.

Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Uhm, cause I felt like it and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought it’d be a way to consistently have something to write about on this blog and I guess it has been.

But today there’s something else on my mind. Guns. And people with guns. A girl I have been working with at the restaurant all fall was shot and killed in her house this morning. It’s still so new and surreal that I don’t know exactly what happened. I just can’t believe it. And while sitting in front of the computer, constantly updating the news website, I see all these other, major shootings that have happened within the last few days and people are talking about Active Shooters and how you can protect yourself from them.

A local news team went around town asking people about this and the general consensus seem to be that if more people carried guns, they could protect themselves better. From people with guns.
Make sense? Not to me, it doesn’t.

Day 26 - What you think about your friends

What a weird question. What do you mean what do I think about my friends? I think some of them make stupid decisions too often, I think some of them are really bad at keeping in touch, worse than me even.

I think most of them are fantastic and I wish I had more time to spend with them, more money to go see many of them.

I thought about listing my best friends, but decided against it since I’d definitely forget some and feel bad about it and also because I don’t really know how do define “best” as in friend.

I’ve lost some close friends to distance, time apart, different life styles and other normal, the-way-life-goes reasons. But I have broken up with a few too, and been broken up from.

Friendship is something you have to work at.

Day 25 – what would I find in your bag?

Let’s have a look. I actually carry two bags today, not just my purse but also a backpack with gym clothes, a towel and a box of wheat thins.
In my purse you will most always find keys, wallet, cell phone, chap stick, gum, lactose pills, hand sanitizer, my calendar and random knickknack. Right now there’s some body splash in there. Sweet pea.

Day 24 - a letter to your parents

Dear Mom and Dad

I am forever grateful and forever sorry for everything you have done for me and everything I have done to you. I often think I hope I never have a daughter because she might turn out like me. I am fairly certain that at this point in my life you mean more to me than you can imagine. Distance is nothing and everything. I never tell you that I love you, am proud to be your daughter and will cherish you always. But I do, I am and I will.

How dramatic… jajaja

day 2, month 1, year 2011

Oh I don’t feel up to writing a letter to my folks tonight, so the whole countdown thing will have to wait. Just came back from skiing, the second day in a row, although yesterday we were all kinda hung over and sluggish, plus it was super cold. Today was better, all around.

New Year was fun. We got a motel in Lava Hotsprings: D, me, his brother, uncle and aunt and some friends. Good times. Could see it turning into something of a tradition, at least I wouldn’t mind, it was a good way to ring in 2011.

Tomorrow I start work, my new job. Although I don’t think it will be a full day at the office. I have a bunch of new employee paperwork to do, I know that, and then hopefully it will just be introductions and stuff.

Oh well, the holidays have been fun, it was definitely good to get a break from Pokey. Now we’re back and it’s good to be back too. New year, new opportunities, right?