Life of an immigrant

"Please enter your receipt number"
I do that. They end the call on me. The goddam computer hangs up on me, twice. I chose the option "if you don't know what a receipt number is, press 2" to finally be able to get a real person. A real person that's a real parrot if an idiot.
She tells me to wait. I tell her I have been for the last year and a half.
She tells me I can put in a service order (as if it's my bike that's broken) I tell her I did that in February, was promised to be contacted within 60 days. That didn't happen. She says she understands. I understand too. That when you are an immigrant, you have no rights, no business asking for help and if you give up and go home, you're doing everyone a huge favor.
Thank you for calling.
Now go f*** yourself, preferably on a plane back home.

Truths of the day

B-ball is b-boring
Obama is funny
Our apartment is stupid warm

Because of number 1 being on too loud on the TV and number 3 being the case even though we keep telling our landlord we're baking in here... I have a hard time getting my paper written. Number 2 is on there because we just watched his speach from the Correspondents Dinner, which I can recommend. He was funnier than Conan, and being funny is not even his job...

The gym bitch

Gave ISU yoga another chance this morning. Figured maybe I've been unfair and maybe it is like a workout(I mean ish... not like a workout per se, but not quite a nap either...) type of deal after all.
But no.
I have not been unfair, that shit is like stretching very very gently in your sleep. They even give you a pillow. I mean, really... I need more than that. It doesn't take much to make me sweat, so if you can't even do that... I'm not going to to be in your class.
My gym persona is not nice, but it is what it is.

Mood swings anyone?

Today is a much better day. The sun in shining (like for for reals, it's sunny out) and the metaphorical weather has gone from full on thunderstorm to somewhat cloudy with chances of a warm breeze.

Today

Today I'm holding my tongue in such a tight grip I might choke on my fist.
It's a good thing genetics blessed me with naturally low blood pressure.
I want to say I'm a ticking bomb but that
a) Just doesn't seem PC at the moment
b) Would make me seem like much more of a bad ass than I can claim

But how about a match, or a tea light, left with a persistent, burning glow... refusing to give up?
As a mental image of my mood. No?
Then I don't know.

Thinking about what could have been...

I'm about to do math right here in my office. Not for fun, although I am so excited I have to blog about it, but for work. I have to (get to) do math for work!
This is a good Monday.

Just a heads up

Whenever my students chose British articles or texts for class discussion, I have to do a lot of googeling to figure out what the heck is going on.
And then I tell my class; you know, you can say it like that...and it's not wrong. But if you're in Idaho, nobody else is going to be saying it like that. 
Side note: last week in class one my students made a joke. In English. I was so proud.

Why are my needs not everybody's #1 priority?

I hate waiting for people. Especially when, I don't know... always, actually. Like right now. And like yesterday when I had to do it. And you know I'll hate that shit in the future too.
It's just sooo disrespectful to give a time, then completely disregard it, and not give notice.
Who does that?
A lot of people, I will tell you.
A lot.

No chips with my sandwich, please

When we were in Chile I chipped my tooth on a hard piece of shellfish. It was really annoying and also made me look a little bit like Jim Carry in Dumb & Dumber.
A moment ago I bit into my (not  at all hard) wrap sandwich and immediately got that "Oh shit...!" feeling like something just went wrong with my teeth. So I ran to the bathroom to check.
But no, we're good.
No Lloyd look-alike this time.

Oh that coffee smell? it's the latest one from Scentsy...

You know those Starbucks Iced Mocha drinks that come in glass bottles? And how you're advised to shake them before drinking to make sure they're blended right?
Yeah, what they don't advise is to keep the cap on while shaking.
Why would they? you may ask... Who would shake a bottle full of coffee without the cap on?
My husband, I will tell you.
Would and did.
In the car, while driving.
Then, while I tried to clean up the mess with leftover Subway napkins, he had the (coffee soaked) balls to accuse me of taking the cap off before he started shaking the bottle...

Just me

While everyone is loving spring, I feel ski season slipping away.
Last run this weekend? Could be.
Aiming at Targhee for their closing shenanigans next weekend, but we'll see.
Sun Valley might end up opening as well as closing for us this year. 
But spring, for me, that's melting snow, sunshine on ice, wet shoes and bicycles finally coming out of hibernation. People around here seem to associate spring with shit being all green and growing and blossoming and whatnot. I'd call that summer. But that's just me. 

Pool Tuesday

Swam this morning. I try to do it every Tuesday, and goddammit last semester I was so on top of it. Like clock work. Every dang Tuesday in that pool.
But this semester, I've been, I don't know.... less clock like.
Anyways, I mostly just wanted to use the word swam.

Eat a cookie and let it go allready

Saw a status on facebook this morning that happily announced that you can now purchase vegan, gluten-free cookie dough at Costco. Then it went on to announce that this is what's cooking for breakfast.
Ok.
Well, my beef with the gluten-free fad aside... I mean, the youghurt Dylan just brought home says it's Gluten Free!!! in big bold letters on the bottle.
What's next?
Gluten-Free water?
Why do people not realize that some (quite a few actually) foods just don't contain gluten. Potatoes, rice, dairy, corn....and that gluten, in and of itself is not bad for a majority of people.
Anyways, all that's besides the point since cookes normally contain flour, and hence, gluten.
I guess the real reaction I can't shake is this:
If you had cookies for a treat instead of for breakfast, maybe you could actually let yourself have the real kind, with eggs and butter and the devil, I mean gluten.
Now, maybe this person is actually a gluten-intolerant vegan.
In which case I would just be the personal choice-intolerant asshole.
Could very well be.
Either way, I cannot get behind this facebook trend of posting pictures and descriptions of everything you eat. And I obviously can't ignore it either.
Ok, I'm over it now. Promise.

Deja vu

I have a talented friend, no doubt, and the Linton brothers put on an impressive show last night. That was cool.
But after that.
Everything is repetition. The conversation, the (lack of) choices, the actions, the questions. Seen it, done it, heard it. I can save you the time it takes to act it all out again and tell you what's going to happen. This town is a kitchen sink of broken ambitions and dreams long gone.

Caliente! No?

I thought it was super confusing at first, when we were traveling South America, that C on the tap meant hot. You get used to it fast though.
Now the hot water heater in our building is broken. It no longer matters what the tap says, or which one you turn on, the water is freaking frio.
And that is a little harder to get used to.

Completely drained of energy

I am. Just done. Last night when we drove home from Boise I was so tired I almost cried. I haven't been that tired in a long time.
And I'm not just tired like sleepy tired. Although I am that too.
I am tired like I'm tired of it all.

Actually, it's forwards

Just a minute ago, I was walking up towards these glass doors, and two janitor guys were walking towards me, on the other side of the doors. I made it there first, so I opened the door and held it up for them.
They hesitated.
I gave little wave with my arm, like a gentleman does…inviting them to walk through.
So they finally did.
The one guy said: Well, this is a little backwards.
Oh no. You are walking towards the future, my man.